Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
