i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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