So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
