it hurts more in the daytime
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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