if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
