your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
