my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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