No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
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