The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
