Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
