I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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