It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
