You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
