i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
