i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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