do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
