Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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