Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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