So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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