Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
