the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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