there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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