listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
