is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
