I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
