My balls are so social today.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
