i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
