Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We are two peas in an std pod
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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