Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
