I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i dont even know how to be here
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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