Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
