dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
