I wish I only lived at night.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
