so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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