So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
