carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
