Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
