cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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