i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
