I just threw up on my dentist
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
