Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
