I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
