Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
