My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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