Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize