Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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