You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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