apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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