Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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