I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
